Mediation Overview

Thomas Riedmuller is offering mediation for couples and families and conflict facilitation for community groups and organisations. He is originally from Germany where he worked as a conference interpreter (Spanish, French, English, German) and journalist. He completed professional conflict facilitation training in Findhorn, Scotland based on process oriented psychology as well as Worldwork training with Arnold Mindell. He has worked as a family and community mediator and conflict resolution educator in Ireland since 2001 and joined the Mediators’ Institute of Ireland in 2011. He works with families, community groups and organisations mainly in Cork but also all over Ireland. Thomas has particular interest and skills in large group conflict resolution processes and working in multicultural settings.

Thomas also has a keen interest in community development. He is a founding director of The Hollies Centre for Practical Sustainability and is a director of the Dunmanway Family Resource Centre where he is working towards establishing a Community Mediation Service . He also works in adult education. He designed FETAC modules on Conflict Resolution and Community Leadership which he has been teaching at Kinsale College of Further Education since 2004 and teaches Conflict Resolution and Mediation at UCC. As an educator he also works towards bringing peer mediation into Irish schools. He is currently working on a conflict resolution curriculum for secondary schools.

Why Mediation?

  • Litigation is often 10 x more costly than mediation. Studies have shown that Mediation can resolve conflicts at a fraction of the cost.
  • In situations where there is an on-going relationship between parents, neighbours, or colleagues mediation provides a much more satisfying and sustainable solution.
  • Conflicts are an inescapable part of life.
  • They can be processed for everybody’s benefit.
  • Positive change follows well managed conflict.
  • Unhealthy cycles of conflict can be broken by listening carefully to hidden messages in the way conflicts unfold.
  • Gaining insights into the way we communicate (or fail to communicate) will benefit your life and that of your family.
  • Conflicts are opportunities for learning more about ourselves and each other. Conflict Resolution sessions can guide you in your learning process.

The Mediation Process defined:

  • is a voluntary process for disputants wishing to resolve their conflict. It is geared towards finding common ground and workable agreements for seemingly insoluable problems.
  • The Mediator is a neutral guide who provides equal support to all parties of a conflict. He listens to all disputants in turn, identifies issues and helps them find solutions.
  • The aim of a mediation session is to reach agreement about one or several issues and to establish a process of implementing them.
  • Mediation as a way of resolving disputes has been proven over many years to be successful and very beneficial for couples, families and neighbourhoods.

Basic Outline of the Mediation Process:

source: Conflict Resolution in the Middle School by William Kreidler published by Educators for Social Responsibility

This set of stages outlines a simplified version of the process of a face to face mediation without going into the pre-mediation stage where you work towards an Agreement to Mediate.

Setting the Stage:

  1. Explain that as a mediator you will help the disputants come up with their own solutions, without taking sides nor giving advice nor telling them how to solve their problem.

  2. Ask the disputants to agree that they will:

    1. Try to solve the problem
    2. speak with respect and avoid engaging in personal attacks
    3. Speak one at a time without interrupting each other
    4. be as honest as they can
    5. keep confidential everything that is said during the mediation session

Getting the stories out

  1. Ask disputants in turn “what happened?” After he/she has finished, restate what was said and ask clarifying questions. Show that you are listening by reflecting back.
  2. Ask each disputant to restate how the other person feels and why.
  3. Ask each disputant what they need to feel that the conflict is resolved.
  4. Ask “Is there anything else”?

Brainstorming solutions:

  • Ask disputants in turn “What can you do here and now to help solve the problem?” Encourage them to be specific. Restate what they say.

  • It they get stuck, ask questions such as “what would you tell someone else to do who had a similar problem?” “How would this solution work?” “Can you think of something else you could do?” Can you say more about your idea.”

Resolution:

  • Help the disputants reach a solution that works for both of them. Help them make the solution specific. Who does what, when, where, how?

  • Restate the solutions and all of their parts to the disputants.

  • Ask each person individually if he or she agrees to the solutions they have chosen.


Updated: 2 March 2012 |